where i am perfect
and love me
i dare you.
there is always one person. we've loved briefly. with everything we have.
that we will think of fondly. through out our lives.
no matter how perfect the one we are with is.
and we will dig our claws in. to feel something else.
something other than some longing for a baby faced 20-something.
we knew when we were the same.
for a succession of moments.
but never knew again.
and never could know again.
time moves on. because it has to. or the memory wouldn't be so perfect.
and the clawing at what we still have wouldn't be so worth it.
& sometimes we remember. memories of pain are just as perfect.
reminders of what we once were.
but gladly... we don't have to be again.
but he is clear as the bright blue sky to me. he's been away 10 days and i already miss him too much. and its one of those irrational pit of the stomach fears that when someone is away they will stay away. its like breaking up if you don't see someone everyday. temporarily. but sometimes that's a good thing.
when someone asks me what my type is. i say i don't know i usually fall for someone who isn't commonly considered handsome. but in some offbeat way i find them entirely irresistible. everyone has their own brad pitt. hah.
i watched the benjamin button movie tonight. finally. i had read the short story it was based on a while back because it was one of those free ebooks that can be found online. can't say the movie matched the story line exactly. but it was a very short story and they pulled it off well. the make up they do in movies is always amazing. they make those ppl look so aged or so young whenever they want. when we all know how old the actors really are. if only we each had our own film crews to make us look glamorous. or hideous, on demand. film is the fountain of youth.
i'm sad to see that this host i am using only allows 250mb... i swore it was more before. but i knew one day they'd have to figure out how to make money off of people. once they are settled do something that will drive them to pay. but i can always post the txt on blogger and put it in a frame on the page or something i suppose. i looked at an old page i made before. used to spend so much more time on this. it looked really good w/framesets. i should do that for this layout. then just put the blogspot page in a frame. ahh... how we used to work around things back in the day. coming back to me now. i've got close ties with frugal.