vanishing wallet

sometimes reading email feels like a job.

watching through my netflix queue is certainly sometimes a chore.

turning my room upside down looking for a wallet i KNOW i left on my desk and had my work ID in it (and who knows what else) that is clearly gone is definitely a pain in the ass. and. how could it be gone?

trying to eat an entire order of pad thai ... is impossible. and leaves me burping.

i love that it can be 5F outside and 90F (something like that) in my room. so i have the window wide open.

i wish i had a photographic memory. or at least a photo. (of those grins.) so i could pay attention and notice when it doesn't look the same.

a drummer moved in next door. and by next door i mean the building over. but it sounds like next door sometimes. but i think acoustic-midnight-singer below my bedroom is long gone. so i'll take it.

for the first time ever. i came into my building and the USPS man was outside in the truck, came in, and handed me a package, for me. impeccable. in a building with no doorbells we have to pick up our packages at the post office.

<3 amorette

american greetings

how about a greeting card

"i'm glad we never hit it off, i've met someone better"

"i'm glad you were too busy for a second date, i met someone who cares enough to make the time"

"thank you for thinking only of yourself and doing nothing for me at all, i've found someone who tries"

"thank you for being there when i needed someone, but now we really are just regular friends"

old box of memories

i've been glancing through the archives. they go 10 years back now. i used to think 17 was old, and i'd wasted so much time. and now i'm 27. i used to lament having no valentine year after year. and i probably didn't post about it the years i finally had one.

back when blogger began it was to post links to sites you had visited and discuss them. then it became a discussion of your day to day. snapshots of your life. then everyone had a blog. or maybe a livejournal or something similar. a script residing only on their own domain even. there was a time a lot of people read my blog. i had a lot of websites. i had rented a server. i had been a web reseller and designer. i spent a lot of time online. i spent hours and hours having 'friendships' with strangers. i mentioned their names here. or their screennames. or hinted at them. or they never snuck into my text. by now i've forgotten most of them. in fact recently one reconnected with me and i had no idea which ghost he had been, which story that had vanished.

and then i ran from that. there was a point at which i decided to not be such an "online" person. i think with the creation of facebook we could all use that. and we could 'manage' who could read our thoughts by choosing our 'friends.' we could 'microblog' and we didn't need these soliloquies in the dark. then of course twitter. which i don't use. and all these streams that repost whatever you say to various websites.

its not important in the end. its just talking to a collection of someones in the near-present. but you can't expect an answer. because its impersonal. its only meaningful to the author.

so i've been continuing for me. and probably one other lone reader out there. but we shall see. how it turns out.

just as we shall see if i have a valentine this year. and if i remember to post a smile.

~ amorette

flutter

i try to swoon on the inside
but i think he still knows