i've been glancing through the archives. they go 10 years back now. i used to think 17 was old, and i'd wasted so much time. and now i'm 27. i used to lament having no valentine year after year. and i probably didn't post about it the years i finally had one.
back when blogger began it was to post links to sites you had visited and discuss them. then it became a discussion of your day to day. snapshots of your life. then everyone had a blog. or maybe a livejournal or something similar. a script residing only on their own domain even. there was a time a lot of people read my blog. i had a lot of websites. i had rented a server. i had been a web reseller and designer. i spent a lot of time online. i spent hours and hours having 'friendships' with strangers. i mentioned their names here. or their screennames. or hinted at them. or they never snuck into my text. by now i've forgotten most of them. in fact recently one reconnected with me and i had no idea which ghost he had been, which story that had vanished.
and then i ran from that. there was a point at which i decided to not be such an "online" person. i think with the creation of facebook we could all use that. and we could 'manage' who could read our thoughts by choosing our 'friends.' we could 'microblog' and we didn't need these soliloquies in the dark. then of course twitter. which i don't use. and all these streams that repost whatever you say to various websites.
its not important in the end. its just talking to a collection of someones in the near-present. but you can't expect an answer. because its impersonal. its only meaningful to the author.
so i've been continuing for me. and probably one other lone reader out there. but we shall see. how it turns out.
just as we shall see if i have a valentine this year. and if i remember to post a smile.
~ amorette
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