if that's how you really feel...

... my life will be so much better without you

you know how tswift sings "she's an actress..." well he was an actor. for almost 4 years he convinced me he was a loving boyfriend who just needed time with his friends and time to himself and his own space. and then he got tired of acting. he got tired of pleasing me and only wanted to please himself.

i want someone who believes that love is selfless. i want someone know knows that we all have flaws but overlooks them to see the whole picture of self. if you both put your partner first, both your needs will be met. if i put him first and he puts everyone and their 2nd cousin first, well i know where we stand.

here's to the end. here's to the sweat and the cheer, the lust, the tears and the hate, the whole circle of things. another long battle together to wind up alone and hurt. oh, but he's moving on. he has to jump right on someone else "because that's what men do." that's not what men do. you aren't some A-lister dude brah. you are a regular. a silent awkward small man. i really doubt you have the girls lined up waiting for you to call.

unless you really are a faker and you had to line up a taker before you cut me loose. what a weak soul.

i don't want someone who will take the easy way out. i don't want someone who will look at only the failed relationships and not at all the wonderful ones that last. you can't call me negative when you are the one saying that love isn't worth a little struggle to understand each other, a little pain when you didn't know why i did something... but didn't ask.

you can't be quiet when your feelings are loud.

i most definitely cannot read your mind. i cannot interpret your sexual dances. i do not think a request for a walk or a conversation is anything but a walk or a conversation.

i am a real person. i am a giver. i always thought he was a giver. he gave and gave and gave in the end he said it was "not to make them like me, but to keep the peace." he thinks i do everything to make people like me? no. i don't. sorry. why do you think i often piss people off? because i am not doing everything to make people like me. i am doing what i can. i am doing what i like. i am not to be stepped on by everyone around me. unless they trick me and tell me they love me. then i get stepped all over. there is the loop hole.

i need to close it

amorette