i find myself coveting a purse i saw at UO today. the first thing i thought when i saw it was oh its on sale for $30 then i realized it said $39 and noted the original price of $88. they've been doing a good job of putting the sale price over the original price so you don't know how much its really on sale. but that may be unique to one employee at one location. so what runs through my mind is: what can i get on ebay for $40? name brand? does UO even sell brands that won't fall apart in 30 days? it says leather, but is it nice suede or rat suede? then i thought i didn't want to carry it with me. or since i was probably going to my bfs i didn't want him to see i bought another thing i don't need. but its gray suede with gray leather kind of latticed on top. the gold colored rivets i can do without b/c they will scratch and fall off. and the base is square so i'm not sure i'm fond of that. and the hardware is a fake sort of antiqued brass look. and the strap is almost too long for shoulder and too short for cross-body. all this goes through my head. but i'm always looking for gray leather (it seems hard to find as i only have 1 clutch i got at wilsons leather years ago that's beat up but i love it because its light gray, its soft, yet shiny - in the unworn spots.) but then i know i have a gray suede and red patent bag and a huge gray patent bag. the first of which i've never worn because i'm afraid to wear it without protectant spray and because i'm afraid the spray will ruin the patina on the patent. the second of which is more like carry-on size so its a bit huge for everyday and because its patent its a little delicate to shove in a lock box or over head bin.
anyway i digress.
my last thought was if i left without it i can't really want it. and made myself not go back this morning.
so today i was thinking of indexing all of my items. kind of like what you'd do to get an insurance appraisal. to remind myself of all the things i'm hoarding that i should be using more often or getting rid of. handbags, shoes, coats, pants that i think will fit again one day, etc. but i have been trying to get rid of things they just aren't selling at the prices i'd like to have for them. or for some things any price at all. and with all the percents taken out for paypal, listing fees and selling fees (depending on the site) and overpriced shipping i make back a lot less than i intended. craigslist isn't working as well as it used to with all the spam on there, counterfeit items, and people emailing several times but never showing up to buy anything. but really i want to keep everything. lol. if i could have a wall display of shoes and bags i'd be fine just looking at them. i can't see them in boxes so i don't use them. and eventually forget they are even there. until i can't find a spot to put something. they used to sell that little camera that took polaroids and put them on stickers. i need one of those to label my boxes of stuff so i know whats in there.
not to mention the endless toiletries and make up i've bought because it was on sale or from a hotel room (or i thought i might actually start wearing make up) but haven't managed to use.
~ amorette
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
idle days
when you're thinking ahead to stressful days to be. but nothing to do now. a lot of time is wasted. i think a month went by before i noticed the lack of energy. the lack of anything getting done. i don't know if its winter that's got me in a freeze. or the short days and long nights that have brought on the familiar melancholy and dragging of the limbs to get anything accomplished.
i've spent the last two days trying to get a christmas present set up so i can use it. a blu-ray player. they ship it without an hdmi cable. and i couldn't find the one i thought i had. so i'm waiting for amazon to send me one. so its plugged in but disconnected. and i hear it ticking. electronic heartbeat. it also wants to be connected to the internet. with a real wire. a physical attachment. oldschool. i'm thinking of getting a 50 foot cable and running it in. so much easier than the fight i've been having with the routers to get them to talk to each other. the belkin beat up the netgear.
my roommate comes home and turns out the hall light and puts her shoes in the bin. thats the only way i know she's home. when i look into the dark hallway. but maybe she didn't put it out today because it won't come back on. the bulb only lasted 2 months and we hardly used it. there must be something wrong.
i can't figure out my neighbors. undergrads surely. underage definitely. partiers of course. but why does one of them keep coming back to the apartment without keys and smashing open the door. maintenance has been here the past few days fixing it. its got patches all over it. metal. wood. nails. its kind of crazy. i'm amazed that the cleaning woman mopped the stairs and front hall today. and took out the trash bags someone left in the foyer. in my old apartment they vacuumed the carpet and steps every morning. that was a bit of overkill. but they never clean this place. the carpet on the first two floors has tumbleweeds of dust and dog fur. thats what happens when you try to save some rent. i'm sure a lot of places don't have cleaning services, but a lot of places don't have a maintenance company. you'd think in a place with one, something would get maintained.
at least the heat is back on. clanking away. i'm sure to wake up in a few hours in a sauna. but at least i can turn it off. the old apartment had no option. it was sweat or sleep outside.
good night internet.
~ amorette
Saturday, September 12, 2009
time
fit me into this box
where i am perfect
and love me
i dare you.
* * *
but he is clear as the bright blue sky to me. he's been away 10 days and i already miss him too much. and its one of those irrational pit of the stomach fears that when someone is away they will stay away. its like breaking up if you don't see someone everyday. temporarily. but sometimes that's a good thing.
when someone asks me what my type is. i say i don't know i usually fall for someone who isn't commonly considered handsome. but in some offbeat way i find them entirely irresistible. everyone has their own brad pitt. hah.
i watched the benjamin button movie tonight. finally. i had read the short story it was based on a while back because it was one of those free ebooks that can be found online. can't say the movie matched the story line exactly. but it was a very short story and they pulled it off well. the make up they do in movies is always amazing. they make those ppl look so aged or so young whenever they want. when we all know how old the actors really are. if only we each had our own film crews to make us look glamorous. or hideous, on demand. film is the fountain of youth.
i'm sad to see that this host i am using only allows 250mb... i swore it was more before. but i knew one day they'd have to figure out how to make money off of people. once they are settled do something that will drive them to pay. but i can always post the txt on blogger and put it in a frame on the page or something i suppose. i looked at an old page i made before. used to spend so much more time on this. it looked really good w/framesets. i should do that for this layout. then just put the blogspot page in a frame. ahh... how we used to work around things back in the day. coming back to me now. i've got close ties with frugal.
~ amorette
where i am perfect
and love me
i dare you.
there is always one person. we've loved briefly. with everything we have.
that we will think of fondly. through out our lives.
no matter how perfect the one we are with is.
and we will dig our claws in. to feel something else.
something other than some longing for a baby faced 20-something.
we knew when we were the same.
for a succession of moments.
but never knew again.
and never could know again.
time moves on. because it has to. or the memory wouldn't be so perfect.
and the clawing at what we still have wouldn't be so worth it.
& sometimes we remember. memories of pain are just as perfect.
reminders of what we once were.
but gladly... we don't have to be again.
but he is clear as the bright blue sky to me. he's been away 10 days and i already miss him too much. and its one of those irrational pit of the stomach fears that when someone is away they will stay away. its like breaking up if you don't see someone everyday. temporarily. but sometimes that's a good thing.
when someone asks me what my type is. i say i don't know i usually fall for someone who isn't commonly considered handsome. but in some offbeat way i find them entirely irresistible. everyone has their own brad pitt. hah.
i watched the benjamin button movie tonight. finally. i had read the short story it was based on a while back because it was one of those free ebooks that can be found online. can't say the movie matched the story line exactly. but it was a very short story and they pulled it off well. the make up they do in movies is always amazing. they make those ppl look so aged or so young whenever they want. when we all know how old the actors really are. if only we each had our own film crews to make us look glamorous. or hideous, on demand. film is the fountain of youth.
i'm sad to see that this host i am using only allows 250mb... i swore it was more before. but i knew one day they'd have to figure out how to make money off of people. once they are settled do something that will drive them to pay. but i can always post the txt on blogger and put it in a frame on the page or something i suppose. i looked at an old page i made before. used to spend so much more time on this. it looked really good w/framesets. i should do that for this layout. then just put the blogspot page in a frame. ahh... how we used to work around things back in the day. coming back to me now. i've got close ties with frugal.
~ amorette
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
keeping secrets
we get so good at keeping secrets. that sometimes we forget we have any.
in films they will have the couples diverge their silly secrets and then announce that now they have no more secrets so everything will be perfect. they are finally one unit.
but maybe we should keep secrets. so we remain our own entities. maybe we shouldn't share all of the same desires and passions and interests. maybe in fact we should disagree on whether to listen to marley or deathcab. maybe its ok classical music gives me a headache and you like to listen to it before bed. no one after all really wants to be best friends with themselves. that's just what we say when we are lonely.
so i'm certain there is a seasonal mood swing that occurs. maybe without even knowing it things change just because of the weather. like this damn rain we've been having. for weeks it seems. and it not just seems that way, i think that's the truth. in spring we had weeks of 85 degree summer weather. and then weeks and weeks of rain. and now it is technically summer but the rain continues. and this damn mood swing has developed. so usually the only thing that can get you down in the summer is the humidity. the damp sweaty feeling you can't escape. recently i'm getting that in my office, because the heat is perched at 83.1 and it won't relent. the thermostat is useless. and its a reoccurring event that never seems to be fixed for good; like that drip-drip leak from the ceiling that fills buckets each time it rains. good thing the weeks of rain have at least been mostly misty weather and not all out downpours. this isn't like boston, to be so wet. either way, i've been on edge lately. angry at no one, but you'd think it was at you.
at least i can't get angry at a blog. or maybe i can, but it won't hold a grudge.
~ amorette
in films they will have the couples diverge their silly secrets and then announce that now they have no more secrets so everything will be perfect. they are finally one unit.
but maybe we should keep secrets. so we remain our own entities. maybe we shouldn't share all of the same desires and passions and interests. maybe in fact we should disagree on whether to listen to marley or deathcab. maybe its ok classical music gives me a headache and you like to listen to it before bed. no one after all really wants to be best friends with themselves. that's just what we say when we are lonely.
so i'm certain there is a seasonal mood swing that occurs. maybe without even knowing it things change just because of the weather. like this damn rain we've been having. for weeks it seems. and it not just seems that way, i think that's the truth. in spring we had weeks of 85 degree summer weather. and then weeks and weeks of rain. and now it is technically summer but the rain continues. and this damn mood swing has developed. so usually the only thing that can get you down in the summer is the humidity. the damp sweaty feeling you can't escape. recently i'm getting that in my office, because the heat is perched at 83.1 and it won't relent. the thermostat is useless. and its a reoccurring event that never seems to be fixed for good; like that drip-drip leak from the ceiling that fills buckets each time it rains. good thing the weeks of rain have at least been mostly misty weather and not all out downpours. this isn't like boston, to be so wet. either way, i've been on edge lately. angry at no one, but you'd think it was at you.
at least i can't get angry at a blog. or maybe i can, but it won't hold a grudge.
~ amorette
Sunday, March 29, 2009
tonight is the kind of night...
you feel like talking to air.
or internet, as it may be.
yesterday it was gorgeous out. i went back to my old college campus to visit my sister and some old and new friends in my sorority. i am very nostalgic about that place. it hasn't been long enough for nostalgia to kick in but there's no other way to describe it. i like that its set in a hick town. that they have cows and horses and sheep and 4-H chicken shows. today is was raining and foggy. but the fog has that way of settling. makes me wish i had a camera that could pick that up. or at least hadn't forgotten mine so i could try.
why do farm animals give you these looks like they are so sad. i think we just associate big eyes with sad. and they just have big eyes. but still. i think they may have just wanted treats. but i'm pretty sure they don't want me feeding horses treats. i might give them jelly donuts. cafeteria ones no less. those will cause some destruction.
when i'm driving around the area of campus i just get these memories of the people i hung out with and where i used to go. i miss living with so many people i enjoy hanging out with. and just doing whatever all the time because we're just in the same place. but its not really possible to recreate that. now its workday. weekday evenings spent by myself. weekends spent with the boyfriend or on excursions to visit CT friends or family. i don't really have a new life here other than all my crap. my apartment i wish i could change. and the boyfriend. but maybe i do and i just wouldn't realize it until i left. and came back to drive around.
not that i'm leaving anytime soon. maybe i need to admit that i'm here for a while. and then i'll settle. and grow some roots.
wish i could find a damn apartment with roommates i got along with and more space and a place for the car. i guess that's really much too ask for without forking over more cash. but would it be worth it? it might be worth it just for more fridge space.
amorette
or internet, as it may be.
yesterday it was gorgeous out. i went back to my old college campus to visit my sister and some old and new friends in my sorority. i am very nostalgic about that place. it hasn't been long enough for nostalgia to kick in but there's no other way to describe it. i like that its set in a hick town. that they have cows and horses and sheep and 4-H chicken shows. today is was raining and foggy. but the fog has that way of settling. makes me wish i had a camera that could pick that up. or at least hadn't forgotten mine so i could try.
why do farm animals give you these looks like they are so sad. i think we just associate big eyes with sad. and they just have big eyes. but still. i think they may have just wanted treats. but i'm pretty sure they don't want me feeding horses treats. i might give them jelly donuts. cafeteria ones no less. those will cause some destruction.
when i'm driving around the area of campus i just get these memories of the people i hung out with and where i used to go. i miss living with so many people i enjoy hanging out with. and just doing whatever all the time because we're just in the same place. but its not really possible to recreate that. now its workday. weekday evenings spent by myself. weekends spent with the boyfriend or on excursions to visit CT friends or family. i don't really have a new life here other than all my crap. my apartment i wish i could change. and the boyfriend. but maybe i do and i just wouldn't realize it until i left. and came back to drive around.
not that i'm leaving anytime soon. maybe i need to admit that i'm here for a while. and then i'll settle. and grow some roots.
wish i could find a damn apartment with roommates i got along with and more space and a place for the car. i guess that's really much too ask for without forking over more cash. but would it be worth it? it might be worth it just for more fridge space.
amorette
Saturday, January 10, 2009
trembling
so I keep websites like relics of the past. like those paper journals I stopped using after my first real affliction with blogging. I still have several beautiful paper journals I'm not sure will ever get filled with anger and sobs, joy and misappropriated love. and a few others I deemed theme journals with a few scant entries. one was going to be a catalogue of my history of lovers. but that'd be slow going as now they are more like long novels and less like sitcoms with overlapping broadcast times.
so yesterday I got an email, well checked my email for the first time really since our long failure of a trip to the east. well really we had Internet access but I was in the midst of ignoring the existence of the world, which includes spam. so the email was a notice that trembling was expiring, or by last night had expired, but of course I could not let it stay that way. one day I will add to it so I will continue to keep it. at least this is what justifies the expense.
I have slipped into a nonchalantness recently. bordering on a desire to completely alter my life. I get into these cleansing phases. that really all in all sort of represent themselves as bouts of minor depression.
I am still fighing off el gripe de Japan as I will call it. and next time I am in japan in winter I will make sure not to try to tuff it in a sweatshirt.
anyway off to pay attention to my boyfriend; the idiotic typing of this ipod is driving me nuts.
amorette
so yesterday I got an email, well checked my email for the first time really since our long failure of a trip to the east. well really we had Internet access but I was in the midst of ignoring the existence of the world, which includes spam. so the email was a notice that trembling was expiring, or by last night had expired, but of course I could not let it stay that way. one day I will add to it so I will continue to keep it. at least this is what justifies the expense.
I have slipped into a nonchalantness recently. bordering on a desire to completely alter my life. I get into these cleansing phases. that really all in all sort of represent themselves as bouts of minor depression.
I am still fighing off el gripe de Japan as I will call it. and next time I am in japan in winter I will make sure not to try to tuff it in a sweatshirt.
anyway off to pay attention to my boyfriend; the idiotic typing of this ipod is driving me nuts.
amorette
Friday, July 11, 2008
and now i ramble...
Eagle Beach, Oranjestad Aruba
such a pretty picture... it is now my desktop at work. can't believe i'm going there with the entourage in 1 week!! its been 2yrs (i think!?) since our last vacation (bermuda). although there will be less of us present we will try to have just as much fun :) life should never get in the way of vacations with your best friends!! hehe. ok /end rant.
life has been full nowadays... its great. i still do find times of boredom. but life can never be without its empty spaces. i do still wish i was made of money. was more confrontational. was more awake. and could take off fridays from work. that'd make so many 4 day weekends instead of just 3. although 3 is OK. its not a great utilization of vacation days. hehe. but this only comes about because the bf is encouraging travel and overbudget expenditures... must save money... but i never do save as much as i could. $7 for lunch out because i'm too lazy to make it in the AM (don't want to wake up... still not a morning person no matter how hard i try). and then there are sales and things i want (because i always want something) and i spend there (while i convince myself i'm "saving"). and then people come to visit and i spend because i have a job and they don't or because its rare they are here and i want to go do things... and everyone knows doing stuff = not saving $$. and then i want to go visit friends for reunions/parties (college friends when we have something planned and sorority sisters once a month if i don't already have that weekend booked in boston/aruba/hawaii/etc.)... which costs that famous $4+/gallon + tolls + fees for whatever we're doing... so i throw down what maybe $100-200 on those 2 weekends. probably about $200-300 on things i don't need. then with rent and parking at $550. internet and phone at $65. at the high end that's about $1100 a month not including food... which leaves me about $1000 to pay down charge cards & loan (i finally payed off my loan!! so i was happy... till they sent me a letter telling me the interest rate dropped more than 2% which makes paying it off fast less critical and i still have 5k of it on a no interest intro-CC to pay off). so i'm living on the brink like our "young professional" once over-achiever now over-slacker and over-spender "generation" (or w/e we are).
at least i haven't purchased gas in about 3 months probably. (go carbon footprint... bullcrap) i should have stocked up then. altho keeping gas stocked up anywhere is not a safe practice.
so i had wanted to say but i forgot. the entourage (aforementioned group of college friends) had planned on a hawaii 2008 excursion but as the prices for that were enormous we settled for less enormous fees for a 2 bedroom suite in Aruba... thanks to Cate and her Disney vacation connections this will cost us about $250 each a week i think... which even saves us over even the cheap hotel (priceline bid, "3 star resort") ry and i are staying at in Kauai, HI for one night. but this is fine with me because now i'm going to Kauai in August... so I should start working on my tan for Aruba.
lol. me, a tan. thats funny. although i think my arms are having some sort of sun shock from the few hours i've put them through over the past week because they are freckled and doing an odd flakey business. nothing a little after-sun lotion didn't fix. i love that banana boat stuff. priceless. if only it came in a travel-size. i will have to move it into one. pumps do not pack well in suitcases. unless you want a goo flood... altho somehow i did manage to bring it to bermuda. but it didnt have to go through luggage for too long (no flight).
so my parents brought up the huffy (read: bike) july 4th weekend and suped it up with a new wide-butt seat with no slash in it (original one was slashed from the box-cutter in kmart... hence bike-on-sale!) and i finally took it out for a test ride last night with ry. first time i rode it since high school i imagine. its held up pretty well. the only rust i saw was on one of the pedal "arms" (or whatever you may wish to call them) and its still got paint. woo! paint! so i was thinking about ordering up some fenders with the remainder of my amazon gift card... and the geese reminded me of this. needless to say i ran over some of their gifts they leave on bike trails (and grass and anywhere they go) and it splashed up on the back of my leg and my next pedal made a cold squish feeling on the back of my knee... eww! so i will have to remember to get fenders for it i s'pose. now i just have to figure out what kind. and i guess i'll have to clean goose shit out the fenders every once in a while. the duckies were being cute in a massive line down the little inlet of a river next to the charles. there were some independent minds straying from the pack but there's always the black sheep, or duck as it may be, in any group of conformists. which reminds me of the McDonalds ad i hate in which they tell us that we should be nonconformists by eating chicken on a biscuit for breakfast at McDonalds... since when has McDonalds flow free of the pack? its probably more american than apple pie and mickey mouse. or at least just as much so. although they certainly are attempting to market themselves and "global" and "hip." they really should just remind us that their salty greasy food isn't all that cheap but it is addicting, like doritos. and addiction gets us every time. mmm grease that we associate with tasting like meat.
and i leave you now, with that wonderful thought. that maybe someone will find and read one day.
~ amorette
Thursday, February 21, 2008
joy withdrawal
i think after a certain amount of exuberant joy there is the same coming down as with any other high. in the moments after there is insecurity. uneasiness. a feeling of drifting maybe. a lull. a slice of non-life. or so it seems. after you have been so happy. now in moments of just simple nothing. are you bored? do you reflect and question too much how legit the source was? do you question if you deserve it?
"deserve"
this word is startling to me. when used. when i try to decipher it in any meaning, in any sense really... it does not seem right. does anyone deserve anything? if not, someone cannot be unable to deserve something. too many negatives. the only times we get to use this i think is when we are talking of base things "deserving respect, life, liberty, happyness" etc. deserving of happyness. that puts a warped twist on deserving things in our egocentric minds. me me me. i deserve everything. everything will make me happy.
i go on tangents.
i wish my roommates tv had a lower volume. but i can't complain after last night. even though she doesn't work on thursdays.
snow storm tomorrow. snow reminds me of childhood. of those snowboots that went up to your knees, almost. the feet and feet of white clean powder that would collect between our homes and the bay. the city would sparkle. briefly. this is one of the few things i remember. things associated with my home when i grew up. of playing. of stray cats and pet squirrels. of our make believe foods (which were rather poisonous soups). good things. joy even. have always mingled with snow.
humans and their fascinations. if it sparkles. if it only lasts a moment. if its something we can't hold and keep to our hearts. we want it even more.
in the short term i have very strong visual memory. i think in the long term i have taught myself to forget most of it. things come back in pangs. good things, bad things. all the same its a pang of vision of scent of a sense of space and touch. of being back there. wide awake dreams. my mind fixates on some.
recent. a smile in a doorway. stuck in my head like a photo.
many others. fast motion brief slideshows. (i wish not to share.)
a conversation clip i can't remember word for word but i feel the sentiment. that desire to get what we deserve, eh. to make those brief moments of luster compound and collect and fix into place. memories into present. even if we run from permanence. i think we seek it. we seek its comfort. its calming space. (what was it? relaxing? no...)
sometimes i search for words for names for something in my head and i feel like the connection will never take. what is it, what is it? it screams. things flash up that are not right. and they get stuck on the tongue. and i can't seem to find it. till i give up and it floats up on its own. as if i'm remembering it for the first time.
everyone wants to feel good. we make moments. we make nests. we remember and try to repeat and bring forth that content feeling. sometimes we sleep too much. waiting.
i think its easier if we stop questioning so much. but we can never leave well enough alone. (as the saying goes.)
i for one, sleep too little. think too much (after the fact, mostly). and of course, desire everything. and the one thing i wish we had the ability to do was record our visual memories. or at least store them better. snapshots, videos, in the mind of things you saw and experienced... they are always better than the ones your camera catches. if only i had a genie and a wish.
~ amorette
"deserve"
this word is startling to me. when used. when i try to decipher it in any meaning, in any sense really... it does not seem right. does anyone deserve anything? if not, someone cannot be unable to deserve something. too many negatives. the only times we get to use this i think is when we are talking of base things "deserving respect, life, liberty, happyness" etc. deserving of happyness. that puts a warped twist on deserving things in our egocentric minds. me me me. i deserve everything. everything will make me happy.
i go on tangents.
i wish my roommates tv had a lower volume. but i can't complain after last night. even though she doesn't work on thursdays.
snow storm tomorrow. snow reminds me of childhood. of those snowboots that went up to your knees, almost. the feet and feet of white clean powder that would collect between our homes and the bay. the city would sparkle. briefly. this is one of the few things i remember. things associated with my home when i grew up. of playing. of stray cats and pet squirrels. of our make believe foods (which were rather poisonous soups). good things. joy even. have always mingled with snow.
humans and their fascinations. if it sparkles. if it only lasts a moment. if its something we can't hold and keep to our hearts. we want it even more.
in the short term i have very strong visual memory. i think in the long term i have taught myself to forget most of it. things come back in pangs. good things, bad things. all the same its a pang of vision of scent of a sense of space and touch. of being back there. wide awake dreams. my mind fixates on some.
recent. a smile in a doorway. stuck in my head like a photo.
many others. fast motion brief slideshows. (i wish not to share.)
a conversation clip i can't remember word for word but i feel the sentiment. that desire to get what we deserve, eh. to make those brief moments of luster compound and collect and fix into place. memories into present. even if we run from permanence. i think we seek it. we seek its comfort. its calming space. (what was it? relaxing? no...)
sometimes i search for words for names for something in my head and i feel like the connection will never take. what is it, what is it? it screams. things flash up that are not right. and they get stuck on the tongue. and i can't seem to find it. till i give up and it floats up on its own. as if i'm remembering it for the first time.
everyone wants to feel good. we make moments. we make nests. we remember and try to repeat and bring forth that content feeling. sometimes we sleep too much. waiting.
i think its easier if we stop questioning so much. but we can never leave well enough alone. (as the saying goes.)
i for one, sleep too little. think too much (after the fact, mostly). and of course, desire everything. and the one thing i wish we had the ability to do was record our visual memories. or at least store them better. snapshots, videos, in the mind of things you saw and experienced... they are always better than the ones your camera catches. if only i had a genie and a wish.
~ amorette
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
i noticed today
i noticed today that i had picked up some breakfast bars made by this coffee shop i went to once in pittsburg. reminded me of that time. hit a little somewhere inside.
i've been melancholy all day.
but the weather was great. and i bought new gym shoes. and a new comforter. and threw out two pairs of shoes (i can't remember the last time i did that). and the old comforter is sitting atop my closet shelf 6' up. pending garbage or what i do not know. always seems a shame to dispose of things which are still useful. but i would have to clean it to give it away. and in a few minutes i will collect my 3 loads of laundry. sadly i have at least 3 more to do. laundry never ends. just like the repetitiveness of hunger and fatigue and day to day to day.
wish i had more to say to keep conversations going forever. so there wouldn't be that lull at the end of a good sequence of hours. the face falls slack. the sad thoughts and fears are allowed to come back. then its time to go back to your box that contains all your possessions. that is your life. this is what i am. see it. its clean. its tidy. its warmly colored. but its empty. its still empty.
i've been melancholy all day.
but the weather was great. and i bought new gym shoes. and a new comforter. and threw out two pairs of shoes (i can't remember the last time i did that). and the old comforter is sitting atop my closet shelf 6' up. pending garbage or what i do not know. always seems a shame to dispose of things which are still useful. but i would have to clean it to give it away. and in a few minutes i will collect my 3 loads of laundry. sadly i have at least 3 more to do. laundry never ends. just like the repetitiveness of hunger and fatigue and day to day to day.
wish i had more to say to keep conversations going forever. so there wouldn't be that lull at the end of a good sequence of hours. the face falls slack. the sad thoughts and fears are allowed to come back. then its time to go back to your box that contains all your possessions. that is your life. this is what i am. see it. its clean. its tidy. its warmly colored. but its empty. its still empty.
its a problem of options
so how do you know who is the one? since we are only allowed one. at least one at a time. now that the internet may simplify the problem of a lack of options (for those blessed with the skill of the self portrait) it is now a problem of options available in rapid succession.
and its a two way road. we both have this. or we may initially assume we are equally as desirable.
its jump quick catch cling hold on and ride it out.
or what is it?
bait wait mull toil dig urself a little ditch and stick with the one who falls in.
sometimes thinking builds knots and coils in my stomach.
wanting makes me feel i haven't enough oxygen. no matter how slow and deep i breathe.
if i shake it up enough maybe something will rise to the surface and the rest fall out of view at the bottom.
patience is often not an option. not when oxygen is thin.
and its a two way road. we both have this. or we may initially assume we are equally as desirable.
its jump quick catch cling hold on and ride it out.
or what is it?
bait wait mull toil dig urself a little ditch and stick with the one who falls in.
sometimes thinking builds knots and coils in my stomach.
wanting makes me feel i haven't enough oxygen. no matter how slow and deep i breathe.
if i shake it up enough maybe something will rise to the surface and the rest fall out of view at the bottom.
patience is often not an option. not when oxygen is thin.
Monday, January 21, 2008
so its cold in boston (finally)
it has been a very cold weekend. and tomorrow it will be 19F. yay. not really. i have to go outside tomorrow. haha. but at least its a tuesday and not a monday. that means closer to friday. not that i want the time to fly so fast that i'm old before i know it (which is what it feels like to me beckoning on the weekend every weekday). i want to do fun things on tuesdays too!
so lets see. on friday all i did was go to the gym. which was a feat in itself. then the next day i slept in. which is great. thats what weekends are for! and i enjoyed not driving all over the place for once. i went to see "no country for old men" with my somerville pal erick. the movie i did enjoy despite the fact that it involved a madman hunting people. it had a lot of character. and by that i mean the actors actually played distinct characters and it was actually a good show. i mean not boring. it was fluent and made ya think about what the hell was going on... and a little squeamish. then we were starved so we walked through the desolate looking streets surrounding kendall sq. and happened upon a restaurant called b sides that didn't look open but oh it was. and i did have a super tasty hot pastrami sandwich and a gin based drink called "monkey glands" which i think was probably much tastier than actual glands of any animal. but i'm pretty sure it gave me that acid stomach feeling in the middle of the night (somewhere between 3am and 1pm). and i knew i shouldn't of had orange juice two times in one day. not to mention with gin (the second time). haha. but tums always saves me.
u know boston is small so u'd think surrounding towns would be easy to get to. and well they are. but you have to make sure to catch a T back before they close up shop (or be prepared to shell out a bunch for a cab). so it kind of limits hanging out time with those who live across the charles. haha. unless little bike made it out for a spin. or u hung out till around 5am. but damn its bitter out. i'd need a ski mask. and snowsuit. and uh then i'd look crazy. but that's to be expected. wish i had room for a big bike. i could keep one in the basement. i saw some others locked up there. i may look into that since i have one sitting at home doing nothing. but i <3 little bike.
so i signed up for this site 'okcupid' on kudos from my friend sir mike. seems like there may some interesting folk on there to chat with and perhaps extract some friendships. i mean at least some busy nights on the calendar would make it worth its while. u never know where u'll find ur inspiration. or something. maybe i'll transform myself into a socialite yet. or at least go back to being an avid online socialite. then maybe i'll be one of those rad kids with those mobile devices IM'n (and bloggin) via that so i can not be confined to the room with my mini mac. mayhaps some conversations with some new folks will bring on some inspiration or some opportunities to explore this lil' city by the bay. i do enjoy a good talk.
anyway. i promised myself i'd go to sleep before midnight. so off i go.
'nite
<3 amorette
so lets see. on friday all i did was go to the gym. which was a feat in itself. then the next day i slept in. which is great. thats what weekends are for! and i enjoyed not driving all over the place for once. i went to see "no country for old men" with my somerville pal erick. the movie i did enjoy despite the fact that it involved a madman hunting people. it had a lot of character. and by that i mean the actors actually played distinct characters and it was actually a good show. i mean not boring. it was fluent and made ya think about what the hell was going on... and a little squeamish. then we were starved so we walked through the desolate looking streets surrounding kendall sq. and happened upon a restaurant called b sides that didn't look open but oh it was. and i did have a super tasty hot pastrami sandwich and a gin based drink called "monkey glands" which i think was probably much tastier than actual glands of any animal. but i'm pretty sure it gave me that acid stomach feeling in the middle of the night (somewhere between 3am and 1pm). and i knew i shouldn't of had orange juice two times in one day. not to mention with gin (the second time). haha. but tums always saves me.
u know boston is small so u'd think surrounding towns would be easy to get to. and well they are. but you have to make sure to catch a T back before they close up shop (or be prepared to shell out a bunch for a cab). so it kind of limits hanging out time with those who live across the charles. haha. unless little bike made it out for a spin. or u hung out till around 5am. but damn its bitter out. i'd need a ski mask. and snowsuit. and uh then i'd look crazy. but that's to be expected. wish i had room for a big bike. i could keep one in the basement. i saw some others locked up there. i may look into that since i have one sitting at home doing nothing. but i <3 little bike.
so i signed up for this site 'okcupid' on kudos from my friend sir mike. seems like there may some interesting folk on there to chat with and perhaps extract some friendships. i mean at least some busy nights on the calendar would make it worth its while. u never know where u'll find ur inspiration. or something. maybe i'll transform myself into a socialite yet. or at least go back to being an avid online socialite. then maybe i'll be one of those rad kids with those mobile devices IM'n (and bloggin) via that so i can not be confined to the room with my mini mac. mayhaps some conversations with some new folks will bring on some inspiration or some opportunities to explore this lil' city by the bay. i do enjoy a good talk.
anyway. i promised myself i'd go to sleep before midnight. so off i go.
'nite
<3 amorette
today's odd product is...
 | Get tap-happy! Adjustable penguin feet let you tap out a tune just like Mumble. Music and motion-sensitive sound effects are in sync with your steps as you rat-a-tat-tat. Requires four "AA" batteries, included. One size fits ages 4 to 8. so this i had to blog about. because not only is it hilarious that you can now tap "like Mumble" but that anyone knows thats what the silly penguin in that movie were called and that they for some reason unbeknownst to me require AA batteries. odd odd toy. |
Sunday, January 06, 2008
this concept of "fun"
so i've been the laziest person this weekend. doing nothing so far. although i fear i may break that trend to go purchase some groceries... seeing as the 1/4 of the fridge i usually take up is empty. except for some leftover pancakes. those veggie burgers in the freezer are starting to look like food.
so i think most of us sit around lamenting not doing anything fun. we spend most of our time trying to come up with something to do. at this i am at a loss currently. basically because it requires going to bed on time and getting up early to do anything actually productive or even entertaining. and this i am not a master of. i think i shall make a point of 'early to bed early to rise' this week. i've tried to do this before. but i think things have calmed down a bit. i really have no reason to stay up late. except for the occasional social occasion. which usually involves CT. i need to make some roots here. and by roots i mean i need to find people who knows what this concept of fun is. or maybe have no life and are just creative. because if someone does 'have a life' they are always way too busy for their free space to coincide with my abundance of free space. which i mean figuratively because i occupy a very tiny space.
so my current qualms are: empty fridge, this gym membership i have now but have not used yet, my lack of gym appropriate shoes, TV/entertainment system still not cohesive (ie i have a dvd recorder i can not figure out how to hook up), a dead roomba i have to get rid of or try to "repair" but its not fiscally worth it, the never ending search for some kind of furniture that fits in a 20" wide space which will accommodate my heavier pants which are sure to break the bar in my closet, the pot rack i still have not put up in the kitchen, the jewelry cabinet i have not put together but am waiting on pending this "furniture" issue, oh and of course the persistent need of a good hair cut, something to do, the possibility of grad school, and the payments on my loan i have to figure out...
so my head is so full that nothing gets done very efficiently. i think i spent most of yesterday watching PBS, sweating myself into a coma, cooking, cleaning & laundry. of course i still have 2 loads of laundry and a huge mass of things i need to hand wash. i should just throw them out and save myself the trouble.
so life is very domestic at the moment. and i fear it will stay that way at least until i get all my qualms settled. then onto defining fun.
<3 amorette
so i think most of us sit around lamenting not doing anything fun. we spend most of our time trying to come up with something to do. at this i am at a loss currently. basically because it requires going to bed on time and getting up early to do anything actually productive or even entertaining. and this i am not a master of. i think i shall make a point of 'early to bed early to rise' this week. i've tried to do this before. but i think things have calmed down a bit. i really have no reason to stay up late. except for the occasional social occasion. which usually involves CT. i need to make some roots here. and by roots i mean i need to find people who knows what this concept of fun is. or maybe have no life and are just creative. because if someone does 'have a life' they are always way too busy for their free space to coincide with my abundance of free space. which i mean figuratively because i occupy a very tiny space.
so my current qualms are: empty fridge, this gym membership i have now but have not used yet, my lack of gym appropriate shoes, TV/entertainment system still not cohesive (ie i have a dvd recorder i can not figure out how to hook up), a dead roomba i have to get rid of or try to "repair" but its not fiscally worth it, the never ending search for some kind of furniture that fits in a 20" wide space which will accommodate my heavier pants which are sure to break the bar in my closet, the pot rack i still have not put up in the kitchen, the jewelry cabinet i have not put together but am waiting on pending this "furniture" issue, oh and of course the persistent need of a good hair cut, something to do, the possibility of grad school, and the payments on my loan i have to figure out...
so my head is so full that nothing gets done very efficiently. i think i spent most of yesterday watching PBS, sweating myself into a coma, cooking, cleaning & laundry. of course i still have 2 loads of laundry and a huge mass of things i need to hand wash. i should just throw them out and save myself the trouble.
so life is very domestic at the moment. and i fear it will stay that way at least until i get all my qualms settled. then onto defining fun.
<3 amorette
Saturday, January 05, 2008
ellie hamper
 elephant hamper | omg. i had to blog this... cuz its hilarious. and besides penguins, elephants are my favorite animals. i'm rambling around amazon looking for something to spend my $25 gift card on. but i will have another $50 one at some point when i get my credit card company to mail it to me. anyway. i like creative people who come up with these things lol. |
Friday, December 28, 2007
confessions, randomly strewn
every night
i am horribly drawn to call him
missing the closeness
that perhaps was entirely fantasy
imagination is a skill of mine
now i feel i've dropped from his life
too distant, full too of denial
and strange things
he has never stirred in me
bubbling to the surface
fear. apprehension.
realization: i wanted to please
feelings of failure
remission & weakness
gnawing need
empty empty depths
feeling of being left behind
scraping not falling together
scattered me
hiding meaning in puzzled words
finding myself alone
entrapped with vivid imagination
wanting to hear that voice
the voice that could make my blood rush
my heart dizzy
those words i heard
every night
months ago now
months ago, but it doesn't seem so
buried in the past
time travel doesn't seem so impossible
· · · ·
i lie to myself about anticipation
while the sun hangs in the sky
as night finds me burying myself
in other peoples fantastic stories
i dig out my own
and scare myself from sleep
falsified
anticipation of a future
a new year, new life
hope? i can not find hope
trapped in the past
must manifest -
try not to play pretend
must create a happiness
build a dream from earthly roots
until it is real
until i have a spirit to speak to
late into the morning
to set the fascinations to rest
let hope give way to dreams
and rest give way to sleep
· · · ·
let go of desires
pushed into dormancy with distance
he will not be there to answer
let go
create
flourish
i speak a chant to myself
like a prayer
with no God to hear
ushering me on
do good do good
change grow flourish
forgiven not forgotten
friend not lover
adjust adapt recoup
· · · ·
just another year
(he said it was so long)
truth speaks it was brief
passing moment in the wake of a life
with minds eager to form new memories
· · · ·
thoughts colliding too much,
everything becomes incoherent
not simple
no direct contrast, no left and right
black nor white
this is life
we live in our deconstructions
hard to imagine
you desire freedom
i desire shackles
you feel relief
i curse freedom
solitary
a weak point
drifting in a stream of chaos
collisions
scribe destiny
with the ebbing of the waves
swaying of all that is untethered
in a wind you can not tame
· · · ·
we didn't want to be our parents
held them up as idols
to reminds us what we should not become
moments flash in memory
i was my mothers temper
i failed
moments
you were your fathers demons
you failed
we could not succeed
· · · ·
pain ripples across the center of my forehead
i am still young i am still young
but a wrinkle lies there sometimes
i know why inside
i know why scars appear
i know why i feel so bitter
pit of the stomach
where i feel the acid churn
when i "forget" to eat
i shake when i remember
i forgot to be unlike them
i have not changed
i have not
i want to, need to, change
in my head often it talks
all about me
and when it wells up
when i feel as if i'd wretch
when it feels as if i tried too hard
to please you
or tried to hard to please me
through you
it runs about confused
in memory in sadness
in my anger
the pain shoots across my forehead
down into the depths
of whatever i am
i know i failed myself
its all about me
i was trained well
even though i don't want it to be
i want to change
wanted to let you in
thought that would help
soften a heart of stone
i am still young i am still young
like a mind,
can not a heart still grow?
i am horribly drawn to call him
missing the closeness
that perhaps was entirely fantasy
imagination is a skill of mine
now i feel i've dropped from his life
too distant, full too of denial
and strange things
he has never stirred in me
bubbling to the surface
fear. apprehension.
realization: i wanted to please
feelings of failure
remission & weakness
gnawing need
empty empty depths
feeling of being left behind
scraping not falling together
scattered me
hiding meaning in puzzled words
finding myself alone
entrapped with vivid imagination
wanting to hear that voice
the voice that could make my blood rush
my heart dizzy
those words i heard
every night
months ago now
months ago, but it doesn't seem so
buried in the past
time travel doesn't seem so impossible
· · · ·
i lie to myself about anticipation
while the sun hangs in the sky
as night finds me burying myself
in other peoples fantastic stories
i dig out my own
and scare myself from sleep
falsified
anticipation of a future
a new year, new life
hope? i can not find hope
trapped in the past
must manifest -
try not to play pretend
must create a happiness
build a dream from earthly roots
until it is real
until i have a spirit to speak to
late into the morning
to set the fascinations to rest
let hope give way to dreams
and rest give way to sleep
· · · ·
let go of desires
pushed into dormancy with distance
he will not be there to answer
let go
create
flourish
i speak a chant to myself
like a prayer
with no God to hear
ushering me on
do good do good
change grow flourish
forgiven not forgotten
friend not lover
adjust adapt recoup
· · · ·
just another year
(he said it was so long)
truth speaks it was brief
passing moment in the wake of a life
with minds eager to form new memories
· · · ·
thoughts colliding too much,
everything becomes incoherent
not simple
no direct contrast, no left and right
black nor white
this is life
we live in our deconstructions
hard to imagine
you desire freedom
i desire shackles
you feel relief
i curse freedom
solitary
a weak point
drifting in a stream of chaos
collisions
scribe destiny
with the ebbing of the waves
swaying of all that is untethered
in a wind you can not tame
· · · ·
we didn't want to be our parents
held them up as idols
to reminds us what we should not become
moments flash in memory
i was my mothers temper
i failed
moments
you were your fathers demons
you failed
we could not succeed
· · · ·
pain ripples across the center of my forehead
i am still young i am still young
but a wrinkle lies there sometimes
i know why inside
i know why scars appear
i know why i feel so bitter
pit of the stomach
where i feel the acid churn
when i "forget" to eat
i shake when i remember
i forgot to be unlike them
i have not changed
i have not
i want to, need to, change
in my head often it talks
all about me
and when it wells up
when i feel as if i'd wretch
when it feels as if i tried too hard
to please you
or tried to hard to please me
through you
it runs about confused
in memory in sadness
in my anger
the pain shoots across my forehead
down into the depths
of whatever i am
i know i failed myself
its all about me
i was trained well
even though i don't want it to be
i want to change
wanted to let you in
thought that would help
soften a heart of stone
i am still young i am still young
like a mind,
can not a heart still grow?
friday.
nothing too eventful today. hence no exciting title. let's see... i can bore you with some mundane details...
i rolled out of bed sort of late... sometime before noon... felt like 11. mom made waffles but it was more of an experiment because she tried to make the batter out of flour, sugar, egg, and baking soda. prolly milk too. anyway. combine that with the fact that the waffle maker is on the fritz (the hinge broke) so they weren't the best waffles. and kind of soggy on top. but any waffle is better than no waffle eh? altho the whole upstairs smelled like fried green peppers cuz my dad made home fries. well sort of. big potatoes that are fried. so pseudo home fries. i guess it depends on how you eat them. anyway the smell threw off the waffle taste.
checked my facebook today. i haven't been online in a few days. and i'm shocked at how some of the people i went to high school with are engaged to each other. its crazy. i guess u turn 24 and you need to be married? lol. i don't know. well actually just that they are dating STILL is miracle enough to mean marriage is eminent. i guess. haha. also amazes me since i had no interest in dating anyone from my high school. i haven't seen anyone around town. but i haven't gone looking. i did see a girl at the mall that lived across from me at uconn. but uh we weren't friends. to say the least.
also i saw on my comments that there is a sequel to 'saturday night fever.' lol. yes i don't know these things b/c those movies are so cheesy that i try to ignore their existence - and i think Travolta is sorta scary. and kinda looks like he has a reptiles' head.
hmm. so yesterday we were going to go to nyc. so my mom could go to the dentist. but we didn't get woken up till 10am. so it was a lost cause. and it was ice raining. which sucks. so we headed out to get there a little late... but gave up and just went to the mall. lol. i got a neat dress i may wear on new years. and a really weird sweater that has arms that only go to your elbows and then its kind of like a shawl. so weird. and one of those skirts that has a high waist and surprisingly doesn't make me look pregnant. and a couple other things that i can't wear to work. lol. i need to have an outside of work life so i can wear all my cute clothes ;p
i'm kind of glad we didn't go to the city. its so dismal. i like it... but i need to have something fun to do if i go there. not just claustrophobic car induced fights with family and bad diner food. and reminds me all the stuff i didn't do when i used to go visit plunk. we shoulda made ourselves do more fun stuff. i think we'd have known each other better then. instead of just being lazy asses. but i guess that takes creativity and planning. and laziness is so easy. like for example... i've done nothing this week. 'cept shopping and watching films. and i finished a book and started a scary one on aliens. which caused nightmares so i quit reading. and started another one. which i've started several times and never finished because the characters seem all violent and mean and i can't identify with them. and its just no good that way. so if anyone has some book suggestions i'm open. i've got 2 to read back at my apartment. so they'll keep me busy for a while. lol. i'm slow.
i am psyched about new years, starting a new year, my gym membership starting when i get back to boston... i think i need new sneakers tho (my old ones are from high school) with all the shoes i have you'd think i'd have newer sneakers. they just don't look like they are worn out yet. but i'm no gym shoe expert. but not too psyched about courses not starting till the 15th so i have 2 weeks of work with no students around to keep me busy. but i guess i'll get through it. always find something to do. or else i'll have to convince myself to learn some new things.
can't believe my sister is going to be 20 in a few days. and i'm heading towards 25 next year. i'll definitely put "quarter-life crisis" on my to do list. although i think i may have had it already. hah.
<3
i rolled out of bed sort of late... sometime before noon... felt like 11. mom made waffles but it was more of an experiment because she tried to make the batter out of flour, sugar, egg, and baking soda. prolly milk too. anyway. combine that with the fact that the waffle maker is on the fritz (the hinge broke) so they weren't the best waffles. and kind of soggy on top. but any waffle is better than no waffle eh? altho the whole upstairs smelled like fried green peppers cuz my dad made home fries. well sort of. big potatoes that are fried. so pseudo home fries. i guess it depends on how you eat them. anyway the smell threw off the waffle taste.
checked my facebook today. i haven't been online in a few days. and i'm shocked at how some of the people i went to high school with are engaged to each other. its crazy. i guess u turn 24 and you need to be married? lol. i don't know. well actually just that they are dating STILL is miracle enough to mean marriage is eminent. i guess. haha. also amazes me since i had no interest in dating anyone from my high school. i haven't seen anyone around town. but i haven't gone looking. i did see a girl at the mall that lived across from me at uconn. but uh we weren't friends. to say the least.
also i saw on my comments that there is a sequel to 'saturday night fever.' lol. yes i don't know these things b/c those movies are so cheesy that i try to ignore their existence - and i think Travolta is sorta scary. and kinda looks like he has a reptiles' head.
hmm. so yesterday we were going to go to nyc. so my mom could go to the dentist. but we didn't get woken up till 10am. so it was a lost cause. and it was ice raining. which sucks. so we headed out to get there a little late... but gave up and just went to the mall. lol. i got a neat dress i may wear on new years. and a really weird sweater that has arms that only go to your elbows and then its kind of like a shawl. so weird. and one of those skirts that has a high waist and surprisingly doesn't make me look pregnant. and a couple other things that i can't wear to work. lol. i need to have an outside of work life so i can wear all my cute clothes ;p
i'm kind of glad we didn't go to the city. its so dismal. i like it... but i need to have something fun to do if i go there. not just claustrophobic car induced fights with family and bad diner food. and reminds me all the stuff i didn't do when i used to go visit plunk. we shoulda made ourselves do more fun stuff. i think we'd have known each other better then. instead of just being lazy asses. but i guess that takes creativity and planning. and laziness is so easy. like for example... i've done nothing this week. 'cept shopping and watching films. and i finished a book and started a scary one on aliens. which caused nightmares so i quit reading. and started another one. which i've started several times and never finished because the characters seem all violent and mean and i can't identify with them. and its just no good that way. so if anyone has some book suggestions i'm open. i've got 2 to read back at my apartment. so they'll keep me busy for a while. lol. i'm slow.
i am psyched about new years, starting a new year, my gym membership starting when i get back to boston... i think i need new sneakers tho (my old ones are from high school) with all the shoes i have you'd think i'd have newer sneakers. they just don't look like they are worn out yet. but i'm no gym shoe expert. but not too psyched about courses not starting till the 15th so i have 2 weeks of work with no students around to keep me busy. but i guess i'll get through it. always find something to do. or else i'll have to convince myself to learn some new things.
can't believe my sister is going to be 20 in a few days. and i'm heading towards 25 next year. i'll definitely put "quarter-life crisis" on my to do list. although i think i may have had it already. hah.
<3
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
on another note (web browsers)
so i created this layout on my mac... and those mac scrollbars aren't changeable with style tags like on windows so it may not be so aesthetically pleasing on there... but looks chic on the windows platform. sigh. i will have to convert to something mac-visible. but i'll save that for later...
christmas day.
so last time i tried to publish it wouldn't go through... so it just got published now (free servers have their issues haha)
so christmas day is over. i pretty much knew what i was going to get. i got the panini maker i wanted. so now i can make hot and toasty sandwiches whenever i want lol. too bad i don't have 2 (one for at work) but that's just greedy. anyway so i tested that out on the bacon for breakfast. works pretty good ;p
i think everyone liked what i got them. but ya never know. and my sis got me the husy paw pants that i always wanted at uconn but never got. i think they are a different brand now so not like $85 anymore. that was crazyness.
other than that christmas is never picture perfect like its supposed to be. ppl get grumpy and have fights about whether flaps on hats stay sewed up or go down over ur eyes. pssh. but that's my family. maybe yours is different, but then again - maybe not.
i don't know what i'll be doing the next of week. but some of it will consist of taking a few things back. and uh.. enjoying not having to get up too early. not that i've been able to sleep in since i'm on a sort of sleep schedule now. (not waking up as early as i should for work but waking up before 9am on my own without the alarm)
so let's see... we watched 'the simpsons movie' last night. it was just like a really long episode. aka. nothing special. for some reason i got the impression that they were going to be superheroes in the movie... i don't know where that came from b/c that wasn't what it was about. same themes as always (saving the evironment, geeky lisa finding boyfriends, homer being a bad parent/husband, and marge being ever so faithful to homer... and bart well envying flanders kids was odd).
my mom bought my sis a bunch of music themed/dancing musical type movies. so we watched 'saturday night fever' which was... odd... and we don't know if it was the uncut version b/c there was more nudity that we expected. and ew travolta put on some pants. anyway at least he was wearing pants aka a dress in 'hairspray' b/c we watched that too. it was kind of funny he was playing the mom... but why he's a man? we wondered if he was dancing in the fat suit. or if they had like a woman double or something. i think i saw an old version of that movie.. i don't think it was a musical... and i think it was better. this reminded me of a disney movie with real people instead of cartoons. but put enough costumes on and you'll be a cartoon. as far as 'saturday night fever' i didn't think travolta was that great of a dancer... well he was better than that girl he chose as a dance partner. her outfits reminded me of a semi-recent madonna video. gah. horrible. and sadly madonna is in better shape. oh and i wonder if/why they never did a sequel? i mean... did he find a job in manhattan? could they stay just friends? the world will never know.
ok i'm going to go play with the "salad shooter" i got for xmas and help make dinner.
<3
so christmas day is over. i pretty much knew what i was going to get. i got the panini maker i wanted. so now i can make hot and toasty sandwiches whenever i want lol. too bad i don't have 2 (one for at work) but that's just greedy. anyway so i tested that out on the bacon for breakfast. works pretty good ;p
i think everyone liked what i got them. but ya never know. and my sis got me the husy paw pants that i always wanted at uconn but never got. i think they are a different brand now so not like $85 anymore. that was crazyness.
other than that christmas is never picture perfect like its supposed to be. ppl get grumpy and have fights about whether flaps on hats stay sewed up or go down over ur eyes. pssh. but that's my family. maybe yours is different, but then again - maybe not.
i don't know what i'll be doing the next of week. but some of it will consist of taking a few things back. and uh.. enjoying not having to get up too early. not that i've been able to sleep in since i'm on a sort of sleep schedule now. (not waking up as early as i should for work but waking up before 9am on my own without the alarm)
so let's see... we watched 'the simpsons movie' last night. it was just like a really long episode. aka. nothing special. for some reason i got the impression that they were going to be superheroes in the movie... i don't know where that came from b/c that wasn't what it was about. same themes as always (saving the evironment, geeky lisa finding boyfriends, homer being a bad parent/husband, and marge being ever so faithful to homer... and bart well envying flanders kids was odd).
my mom bought my sis a bunch of music themed/dancing musical type movies. so we watched 'saturday night fever' which was... odd... and we don't know if it was the uncut version b/c there was more nudity that we expected. and ew travolta put on some pants. anyway at least he was wearing pants aka a dress in 'hairspray' b/c we watched that too. it was kind of funny he was playing the mom... but why he's a man? we wondered if he was dancing in the fat suit. or if they had like a woman double or something. i think i saw an old version of that movie.. i don't think it was a musical... and i think it was better. this reminded me of a disney movie with real people instead of cartoons. but put enough costumes on and you'll be a cartoon. as far as 'saturday night fever' i didn't think travolta was that great of a dancer... well he was better than that girl he chose as a dance partner. her outfits reminded me of a semi-recent madonna video. gah. horrible. and sadly madonna is in better shape. oh and i wonder if/why they never did a sequel? i mean... did he find a job in manhattan? could they stay just friends? the world will never know.
ok i'm going to go play with the "salad shooter" i got for xmas and help make dinner.
<3
Saturday, December 22, 2007
and i'm home for christmas
so i'm back at home for a week for our intersession break from work. and i dunno what i'll do prolly just hang with bear (who has a new dog bed - even tho he's a cat ;p) and sneeze a lot b/c of that.
today's youtube song is here. (embed was disabled!) landon pigg - "can't let go"
we're already listened to the hanson cd and we're on to julia's first mix cd. we've got a couple more to go than we may be sick of christmas music. i got home around 10pm last night so tired but stayed up till 1:30am. we started watching v for vendetta before 1am... before that we were googling youtube things. i wish my internet in boston was faster! comcast sucks!! or my wireless reception.. but likely both. plus we pay $45 a month for it... yahoo is like half of that. and so much better. gosh.
a little bit of snow flakes were coming down. mom and dad are out christmas shopping. AND i'm pissed she returned something i picked out for myself b/c according to her she "thought it was for julia and she woulndn't want it" when if she had asked dad he woulda known i picked it out for me and made him get it. grrr. she's annoying like that. past few years they have been going out last minute like this and buying crap we don't want when we'd rather they just not waste the money and be stressed out about it and annoying b/c they are stressed out about shopping. well at least mom, she hates shopping. dad just doesn't do much of it. well at least that's how i feel about it i dunno about julia she likes stuff. no matter what it is. if its wrapped up she probably wants it.
oh oh laptop you are so not cooling yourself well. i wonder if i buy a new heat sink/fan thingydoodle it will fix it. i'm scared of openin it up and messing with it. and my damn windows toolbar won't minimize to the smallest size. its stuck all big and in the wayz. garz. oh, computers.
hmmm on to AIM. haha. that is my life.
<3
today's youtube song is here. (embed was disabled!) landon pigg - "can't let go"
we're already listened to the hanson cd and we're on to julia's first mix cd. we've got a couple more to go than we may be sick of christmas music. i got home around 10pm last night so tired but stayed up till 1:30am. we started watching v for vendetta before 1am... before that we were googling youtube things. i wish my internet in boston was faster! comcast sucks!! or my wireless reception.. but likely both. plus we pay $45 a month for it... yahoo is like half of that. and so much better. gosh.
a little bit of snow flakes were coming down. mom and dad are out christmas shopping. AND i'm pissed she returned something i picked out for myself b/c according to her she "thought it was for julia and she woulndn't want it" when if she had asked dad he woulda known i picked it out for me and made him get it. grrr. she's annoying like that. past few years they have been going out last minute like this and buying crap we don't want when we'd rather they just not waste the money and be stressed out about it and annoying b/c they are stressed out about shopping. well at least mom, she hates shopping. dad just doesn't do much of it. well at least that's how i feel about it i dunno about julia she likes stuff. no matter what it is. if its wrapped up she probably wants it.
oh oh laptop you are so not cooling yourself well. i wonder if i buy a new heat sink/fan thingydoodle it will fix it. i'm scared of openin it up and messing with it. and my damn windows toolbar won't minimize to the smallest size. its stuck all big and in the wayz. garz. oh, computers.
hmmm on to AIM. haha. that is my life.
<3
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